For those of you who don't know, I live on a smallish island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I am not telling you this to brag (although it is mostly amazing), but so that you understand where I'm coming from.
You see, one of the issues with this island is that I love food and I love to shop. Okay, those are probably more of a character flaw than an issue with the beautiful island of Maui. We have beautiful beaches, waterfalls, friendly people, and warm weather year round. We do not have Olive Garden, Chic-Fil-A, or decent Chinese food. But, and I have yet to decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing, we do have a Target.
I don't consider myself to be a "Basic Bitch." I've never owned Uggs or a velour jumpsuit with the word Juicy across my nonexistent ass. I just tried a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte for the first time last week, and I hated it! (Is it supposed to taste so chemically artificial?) I was never part of a sorority in college. I don't post gym selfies (because I rarely go to the gym.) But, I do have an incredible Resting Bitch Face, and I love Target.
Target is my downfall. As soon as I walk through the doors its as if I go into some sort of trance. Seriously, even if I think I'm only going in for Toilet Paper and Cat Litter, I still grab the big shopping cart and roll up and down almost every aisle in the store. Except the baby aisle. Let's face it, I don't need that kind of karma in my life.
So, here's my last shopping trip as an example.
Every Target shopping Spree starts with the Bulleseye Dollar Bins. I know I'm on a budget, but it's a dollar (or three, or five.) You never know what goodies you'll find, assuming you can squeeze past the hoarders emptying bins into their own carts. Lately I've been really into BuJo's, and I have found some really great stickers and notepads in this section. Bullet Journaling is amazing, but that's a conversation for another time. So then I decide to head to the craft section for some new pens and washi tape. Conveniently enough, I am also grabbing a birthday present for one of Irie's friends from this aisle. Must get back on track before I get distracted by all the pretty journals and notebooks.
So I swing through the clothing section, and nothing goes into the cart. Yay, me! I'm saving up for my next Stitch Fix shipment. Browse the toys on the lookout for any good sales, because it's never too early to shop for Christmas. I prefer the adrenaline rush of last minute Christmas shopping so I keep on cruising.
Ooh, Halloween clearance. Candy, candy, candy! Pumpkin spice Oreos (gross.) Nestle pumpkin spice morsels, pretty sure I can work with those. Caramels (for candy apples). An idea is starting to form. What did I come in here for anyways? Where's my grocery list? Shoots, left it at home.
Time to browse home goods. Eh, I have like 10 pillows on my bed already. Seriously. New candles?...no. Stay strong. Ooh, cute mason jars. And they're on sale. Into the basket. Towels? No, Hubby always brings some home from work.
Groceries. Wish I had my list. Let's see. Chips. Pasta. Pasta sauce. Bread. Beer. Candy. Wait, already got candy. More candy. Granola bars. Coffee pods for the Keurig. Lunch meat. Yogurt. Cheese. Ground beef. Chicken. Bacon. Apples, grapes, berries. Better throw in some veggies, too. Milk. Okay, stick to the budget. Check Cartwheel for deals. Hmm, toothpaste. I can always use new mascara. Almost out of conditioner. Plenty of shampoo. Why do we always run out of conditioner first?
Okay, losing focus. Gotta get out of here. Check out. Shoots. Forgot to bring my bags in. Yes, I'll buy five more reusable bags. Yes, I'm using my Target card. Throw in some gum and a soda.
Make it out in one piece. Load everything into Annie's trunk (what, your car doesn't have a name?!) Return cart. Get in car and maneuver out of parking lot. Fog is beginning to lift.
Crap!! I forgot the toilet paper and cat litter.
Shrug it off. I'll can always come back tomorrow.