It happened. I knew that it was just a matter of time. After all, I occasionally like to pepper my speech with less-than-ladylike utterances. Oh, who are we kidding. I cuss like a sailor on leave. (In my defense, I also work in a restaurant. I can cuss in at least three languages.) So its little wonder that my kid dropped the F-Bomb.
According to my mother my favorite naughty word when I was little was the S-word. Ironically (insert sarcasm) it was the word I heard her utter most often. To be fair, she graduated to such adorable phrases as Son-of-a-Biscuit-Eater, and Firetruck later in life. But, early on, it was always the S-word.
She says the first time I uttered it I flung a bowl of vegetable beef soup off my high chair and informed her that I wasn't eating that S-word. I find this hard to believe, as I love vegetable beef soup. I myself recall attempting to carry all of my barbies downstairs at once, dropping them, and not just yelling the S-word, but also attempting to blame our Cocker Spaniel Ike. So apparently I was a liar as well as a potty mouth. My point, however, is that there is a good chance that I am to blame for my daughter's language skills.
This is not our first go-round with the naughty language . When she was a toddler she picked up the GD word. I'm sorry, but do you know how hard it is not to laugh when you hear your three year old scream at the cat, "GD-it, Mino, I just cleaned this room!"
Our next go-round came in the second grade when I overheard her tell a boy who was bothering her that she was going to kick his a$$hole. I had no choice but to inform her that if she was going to use inappropriate language she could at least use it correctly. Had she learned nothing from all her years of witnessing my road rage firsthand?
"No, honey. We kick people's a$$es. The people themselves are a$$holes. Do you see the difference?'
I walked her through the basic swear words and how they were used. I made her repeat each one back to me, in the hopes that they would lose some of their power. After all, they are just words. It seemed to work for a while. The kid doesn't even say Dummy or Stupid.
And then it happened.
I was picking her up from a sleepover this weekend; one where there was no sleep. She was tired and cranky. They were eating s'mores for breakfast and swimming when I arrived to get her. She was wet and covered in chocolate, tired and cranky. I must have asked her a million times to change clothes, wipe her face, and make sure she had all of her things before we left.
Driving down the road, I happened to glance at her in the rear-view mirror and noticed that she still had chocolate smeared all over her faced.
"I told you to wash your face before you got in my car," I admonished her.
"I though I F-ing did!"
It was about half a beat before either of us could process what she had just said. Fast forward past ten minutes of me trying to stifle my laughter, and ten minutes of her begging me profusely not to tell Daddy. We had the talk again. Not ladylike, blah, blah, blah, more intelligent ways of communicating, blah, blah, blah, when you're an adult, etc, etc.
So- final point. Am I a bad parent for being glad that she at least used it correctly this time? What was your reaction the first time you had a "Where did you hear that word?!' moment?